just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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