So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
