I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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