Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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