I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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