She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
