Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
