woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
