No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
