Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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