He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All the doctor said was why
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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