Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How naked do you want me to be?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
