You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
