I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it glows. i had to have it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize