Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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