wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
