just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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