Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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