Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
