yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
