I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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