using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
