your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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