i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
