I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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