I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
