I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
