Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
