his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
