talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
