Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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