I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
