if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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