What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
