I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
