This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
