great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
