By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we're making bets on your personal life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
