i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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