I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
