I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
