hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
