He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
