he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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