Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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