If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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