Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
