Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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