oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
