I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
