Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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