HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
