Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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