i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
tell me about the fingering
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