We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
