Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
