Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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