i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
false alarm, still single
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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