so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
