So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
