so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
