Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
